Bullying is intentionally harming someone continuously, on a physical or mental basis. More than half of the children are bullied in schools. Parents may not be aware that their child is being bullied or is a bully in school. Bullying includes hitting, pushing, calling names, and laughing while looking at the person being bullied. The child must be taught to deal with bullies or the parents should intervene. To deal with bullies, all the parties involved must meet and try to solve the issue while enhancing friendship amongst the kids.
A school is a place where kids go to learn new things and explore the outside world. It is important to address the issue as it is of no good to both children. Train your child to deal with bullies. The child who bullies shows signs of anger issues and the child who suffers the bullying shows signs of lowered confidence and fear.
To explain this topic on how to deal with bullies, we will divide this topic into leads two halves. First, half bully other children, and the second part suffer from the bullying.
Here Are Some Pointers for Parents to Deal with Bullies:
For children who bully:
1. Pay attention to signs:
Children who bully other children have difficulty sleeping. They often misbehave and do not obey instructions. They get frustrated easily and are irritable most of the time. This may also be the case when they face such an environment at home. Violence, or anger when seen at home, they behave the same way in the school. To ensure the environment at home is harmonious too.
2. Limit technology access:
Do not give much access to technology to children. Children are attracted to technology and want to use mobile phones and laptops frequently. Limiting the use of the same as the internet isn’t too good for them. Bad influence can begin on the internet causing children to watch and read unwanted stuff.
3. See the type of friends:
Your kid’s friend circle should be normal and decent to deal with bullies. In school, children are at odd ages where they do not understand what is right and wrong. They do things under peer pressure that leads to some problems in the future. The mindset of the child may turn negative and bad if the friend circle isn’t that good.
4. Anger issues:
Children who bully other kids at school have anger issues. They get frustrated or angry very easily. They do not have the habit of obeying the things that are told to them. They may also return with complaints or remarks in their school diary.
For children who are bullied:
1. Bruises on the body:
When children deal with bullies at school, they may have faced physical violence at times. To prove themselves more powerful, children have the habit of hitting other kids at school. If in doubt that your child is being bullied, you should keep a watch for bruises on the body. If found ask them in a manner that they will tell the truth about where the bruises came from. Keep on telling them ways to deal with bullies directly or indirectly.
2. Return with missing belongings:
More often, when children are bullied, they return with missing belongings. Some colorful pens, pencils, erasers, or whatever it is, are snatched from them to bully them at school. They may even try to lie about the belonging falling somewhere or they don’t remember where it was kept.
3. Give reasons to miss school:
Your child will start giving reasons to miss school. They do not want to face the trauma in fear, so they start giving some reasons to not go to school. They will complain about being sick, or stomach ache, or anything else similar to avoid going to school.
In general, children who suffer bullying in school are restless by nature. They become tense and have fear in their minds of any situation which isn’t favorable to them. It results in confidence issues and low self-esteem. When bullied, children cannot retaliate as they don’t have the power to do so.
How do I teach my child to deal with bullying?
- Educate about coping strategies:
To deal with bullying, train the child with responses that are not violent but are direct. Teach them to show confidence and give them some practice in facing the situation. Help them to feel good about themselves
- Teach responses to being bullied:
To deal with bullies, train them to not be violent first of all. When being bullied, teach them to think of a happy thought. Teach them to give a short reply to stop it. Walk away from there. Go and inform an adult that such an incident is happening.
How to stop my child from bullying others?
Dealing with bullies in school is not what the child goes to school for. It may come as a shock to you that your child is bullying other children in school. These are signs that the child is suffering from something and you aren’t aware of the same. Due to a lack of verbal skills, the child may not be able to say it the way you want him to. You will have to understand how the child responds upon being asked, also ask him about the home environment, does he learn from the home or somewhere else?
Get your child to talk it out. Identify the signs he shows and see what can be done. Talk to the parents of the kids who were bullied by your child. As, both parents are suffering, fighting with each other too will not solve the problem. So, it is better to find a middle ground and deal with the situation.
To deal with both types of children, parents need to observe the situation and act accordingly. Often, parents get upset and go into denial mode that their child can’t bully anyone. Or parents get upset over their child being bullied and behave in a wrong manner with the child too and visit the school too, to fight. Kids aren’t that mature to understand what is wrong and what is right. Handle it gently, whether your kid is a bully or a victim. Ask why he bullies others or asks why he didn’t inform them before. But appreciate him enough for letting you know. Help the kids, as a parent so they can help themselves.