10 Do’s and Don’ts to Help a Friend Struggling with Infertility

Infertility: 10 Important Do’s and Don’ts to Help a Friend Struggling | The Lifesciences Magazine

The problem of infertility comes as a shock to people. It is an issue we want nobody to face in real life. Counseling a friend suffering from the issue and recommending the required help is what can be done, in order to share the load. It is a condition that can happen to men and women both. It is a deeply personal and often challenging journey that many individuals and couples face. It’s essential to recognize that it affects not only physical health but also emotional well-being.

When a friend is struggling with infertility, offering support can make a significant difference in their life. In this article, we will explore the meaning of infertility, provide 10 do’s and don’ts to help a friend facing this issue, discuss ways to offer distractions and emphasize the importance of counseling during this difficult time.

Understanding Infertility: The Human Experience

It is a medical condition characterized by the inability to conceive a child naturally. It can affect both men and women, and it’s important to understand that infertility is not a choice or a reflection of a person’s worth. It is a complex issue that can result from various factors, including hormonal imbalances, medical conditions, lifestyle factors, or unexplained reasons. It often brings emotional pain, stress, and a sense of loss to those experiencing it.

10 Do’s and Don’ts to Help a Friend with Infertility:


1. Listen Actively

Infertility: 10 Important Do’s and Don’ts to Help a Friend Struggling | The Lifesciences Magazine

Let your friend know that you’re there to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on. Encourage them to share their feelings and experiences without judgment.

2. Offer Emotional Support

Be empathetic and validate their emotions. Infertility can bring feelings of grief, sadness, and frustration. Show compassion and empathy.

3. Educate Yourself: 

Take the time to educate yourself about the same, its causes, and treatments. This will help you better understand what your friend is going through.

4. Respect Privacy

Infertility can be a sensitive topic. Always respect your friend’s privacy and boundaries. Don’t share their situation without their consent.

5. Offer Practical Help

Assist with practical tasks or offer to accompany them to medical appointments if they feel comfortable. Sometimes, these small gestures can be a significant help.

6. Express Your Support

Let your friends know that you support them no matter what. Send messages of encouragement, and be a source of positivity in their life.

7. Suggest Distractions

Suggest engaging activities or hobbies to take their mind off infertility temporarily. This can help reduce stress and anxiety.

8. Be Patient

Understand that the journey through infertility can be long and challenging. Be patient and offer your support consistently, even if they don’t always want to talk.

9. Encourage Professional Help

Suggest seeking counseling or therapy, both individually and as a couple. Infertility can take a toll on mental health, and professional guidance can be beneficial.

10. Celebrate Achievements

Celebrate any positive milestones or achievements on their journey, such as successful treatments or moments of hope. These celebrations can be emotionally uplifting.


1. Don’t Offer Unsolicited Advice

Infertility: 10 Important Do’s and Don’ts to Help a Friend Struggling | The Lifesciences Magazine

Avoid giving unsolicited advice about treatments, lifestyle changes, or alternative therapies unless your friend asks for it.

2. Don’t Make Assumptions

Avoid making assumptions about their situation, such as suggesting they “relax” or “stop stressing.” It is a medical condition, and such comments can be hurtful.

3. Don’t Downplay Their Feelings

Never minimize their emotions or experiences. It can be emotionally overwhelming, and they need your support, not dismissal.

4. Don’t Share Success Stories Inappropriately

While success stories can provide hope, be cautious about sharing them unless your friend expresses interest. What worked for one person may not work for another.

5. Don’t Pressure or Pester

Avoid asking intrusive questions about their fertility journey or pressuring them to share more than they are comfortable with.

6. Don’t Assume Parenthood is the Only Goal

Understand that not everyone struggling with infertility has the sole goal of becoming a parent. Respect their choices and decisions regarding their future.

7. Don’t Be Insensitive

Be mindful of your language and avoid insensitive remarks or jokes about fertility, pregnancy, or parenthood.

8. Don’t Offer Blame

Never assign blame or suggest that your friend or their partner is responsible for their infertility. It’s a complex medical condition with many factors.

9. Don’t Disappear

Infertility can be isolating. Don’t disappear from your friend’s life, even if you’re unsure of what to say or do. Your presence and support matter.

10. Distractions and Coping Mechanisms

Offering distractions can be a helpful way to support your friend during their infertility journey. Encourage them to explore hobbies, take up new interests, or participate in activities that bring them joy. Suggest spending quality time together doing things unrelated to fertility discussions. Engaging in enjoyable pursuits can provide temporary relief from the emotional toll.

The Importance of Counseling

Infertility can take a toll on mental health, causing stress, anxiety, and depression. Professional counseling can play a vital role in helping individuals and couples navigate the emotional challenges of it. Here’s why counseling is essential:

  1. Emotional Support: 
Infertility: 10 Important Do’s and Don’ts to Help a Friend Struggling | The Lifesciences Magazine

Counselors provide a safe space for individuals to express their emotions, fears, and frustrations. They offer strategies to cope with stress and grief.

  1. Communication: 

Couples dealing with infertility may experience strain on their relationship. Counseling can improve communication and help couples support each other effectively.

  1. Decision-Making: 

It often involves difficult decisions about treatments, adoption, or living child-free. Counselors can help individuals and couples make informed choices aligned with their values. Lack of knowledge on the topic makes people switch doctors as they aren’t that happy with the results if such a thing happens. 

  1. Coping Strategies: 

Counselors teach coping techniques to manage anxiety and depression, enhancing overall well-being.

  1. Validation: 

Professional counseling validates the emotional impact of infertility, reducing feelings of isolation and shame.


Supporting a friend struggling with infertility requires compassion, empathy, and understanding. It is a complex journey, both physically and emotionally. By following the 10 do’s and don’ts, offering distractions, and encouraging professional counseling, you can provide invaluable support to your friend during this challenging time. Remember that your unwavering support can make a significant difference in their journey toward parenthood or finding other paths to fulfillment and happiness.

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